I am tired.

I’m tired of being lonely. I am tired of being treated poorly. Mostly, I am tired of trying anymore. I can’t make friends to save my life, none the less get into a decent relationship. I have never had one, because every man I have ever dated has treated me poorly in one way or another. It has been almost a year since I bothered to date. Its not that I haven’t met anyone that I would want to date, its just that I haven’t met anyone who would want to date me. So why is it that I am getting the short end of the stick on things? I am bored and frustrated and all I really want is to meet one guy, just one, who can either be a decent friend or treat me like I should be treated. I am sick of coming out of every relationship having tried so hard to make it work, and feeling that all I ended up was broke and emotionally damaged. So, if you are out there, nice guy who likes to have fun and won’t take advantage of me, let me know. I am beginning to doubt your existence.

My First Blog Post? Hoorah!

Twenty-two never seemed that old to me before now, but with my first real job in full swing (almost) I am starting to view it differently. The people around me seem to have a lot of things going for them that I do not. They have boyfriends, fiancés, husbands, kids. They have their own place to live, can afford to take vacations, live near their friends. Then there’s me. Single, lonely me, living with my parents still, at least an hour away from most of my friends.

I have been thrown into an environment at work that is sincerely foreign to me, though I do love it. It isn’t what I thought I would be doing. I am supposed to be out in New York or, at the least, Chicago, proving myself as a copywriter and creating great print, radio, and TV ads that the American public will love and loathe. Instead, I work in a mostly conservative recruiting battalion and serve as more of a secretary than a creative. I do like my job, mostly for the people I work directly with, but I still feel like there is a lot missing in my life. I don’t know if I will regret not going for the bigger things I had planned. I can see being happy here, but I just don’t know if it will be the same type of happiness.

Meeting friends is tricky too. While I have met a few recruiters who are nice, most of them are out of my age range, just like a lot of my co-workers. Though it can be nice to be the youngest woman here, you do feel like people baby you.

Maybe that’s what this initial post will be. It is a statement of what I want from my life.
I want to be happy with my job.
I want my own place to live.
I want more friends who are closer and who make an effort to be my friend.
I want someone to love me that I can love back.

Now all I have to do is get those things, or try for them, and believe me, I am. I have made steps towards each goal.
I like my job so far and the people I work with.
I have all my debts to my parents paid off in hopes of saving up enough for my own place.
I am trying really hard to make friends with people and, as they still speak to me, I guess that is going well.
I started to talk to someone I have the potential to like as more than a friend, though only time will tell there.

Who knows what will happen. I think things are looking up at least. Maybe I will even meet people who will read this! Heh, who knows!